FCAT funny!

For those of us beginning State FCAT testing this week I thought I’d pass on something to lighten the mood.


Severe Weather Testing Protocols During FCAT Testing

Should a severe weather situation occur during testing, please remain

calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be a testing irregularity and

must be reported.

Please do not look out the window to watch for approaching tornadoes.

You must monitor the students at all times. To do otherwise would be a

testing irregularity and must be reported.

Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin to cry, please

make every effort to protect their testing materials from the flow of

tears and sinus drainage.

Should a flying object come through your window during testing, please

make every effort to ensure that it does not land on a testing booklet

or an answer sheet. Please make sure to soften the landing of the flying

object so that it will not disturb the students while testing.

Should shards of glass from a broken window come flying into the room,

have the students use their bodies to shield their testing materials so

that they will not be damaged. Have plenty of gauze on hand to ensure

that no one accidentally bleeds on the answer documents. Damaged answer

sheets will not scan properly.

Should gale force winds ensue, please have everyone stuff their test

booklets and answer sheets into their shirts being very careful not to

bend them because bent answer documents will not scan properly.

If any student gets sucked into the vortex of the funnel cloud, please

make sure they mark at least one answer before departing and of course

make sure they leave their answer sheets and test booklets behind. You

will have to account for those.

Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator, up and take you

flying over the rainbow, you will still be required to account for all

of your testing materials when you land so please take extra

precautions. Remember, once you have checked them out, they should never

leave your hands.

When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble, please make

sure that they do not, at any time, look at or handle the testing

materials. Once you have been treated for your injuries, you will still

be responsible for checking your materials back in. Search dogs will not

be allowed to sift through the rubble for lost tests. Unless of course

they have been through standardized test training.

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